ill be the fire-eyed-girl
to your quiet eyes

i might be home

i drove here after the game and buying groceries
i put my food in my part of the cabinet

because i am in my home
the house is cold
my room is not
the house is
cute/quaint
eventually so will be my room

i made myself a cup of hot cocoa to finalize it
the bed is mostly made
except for my desired second perfect purple pillow
a few days from now
and he will put the final touches on my bed

for now
i sit amidst boxes and bags
all full of my life
that will go on from here

a new life is just around the corner
just days away
and miles further
im scared out of my mind
but a month or two to settle before i kick back into to school and work life

and i pray i see you more when im there
all of you

i pray
for progress
and growth
together
but for now it's at the back of my mind
but i wonder where youve placed me
except for the place i know im not
except when we're together
sharing moments
the kind of thing that keeps us going
longer
apart
but stronger
or ive misunderstood all of this
but he said
follow your gut-
youre probably right
and the tension in our grasp revitalizes and reassures
the distance from my nose to yours
suggests more than a smile

answer me

this is no new
addiction
the years have proved it so
and we are
addicts(ed)
more than before

we've fallen out of love

but still
still
still
still
we crave
eachother (s)
skin


this isnt love


and in the night
when i call for you
your touch will answer
and in the dark
when your hand calls
my lips will answer


we are not in love
but the way we move
would beg to differ

i miss you missing me

i couldnt sleep last night

restlessness took its toll on our two questioning hearts.
not even a goodnight, because goodnight was too final.
rather we toss and turn. we sit up, breathe deeper, and cling to our side of the bed.
drawing lines, and not crossing them.
only once or twice did our bodies find the other. and we laid, so still.
and restlessness won again, as we turned searching for that perfect position to fall asleep.
please just let me fall asleep.
let me dream my insecurity away.
rather than be awake; wondering
are you awake too
and you were
but we didnt say a word
not even once
until morning
just to reassure us
that we both were restless
without the rest that once came with bedtime