Wednesday, February 4, 2009

this is for your own good

i want you to know i have a free spirit, and wild heart.
sometimes my mind takes me places i should never go. i get mad, but mostly sad.
i go crazy, but not on the inside. i let it out. sometimes, only some, i let it all out. all that crazy simmering inside of me; i just let out. it's never dainty. and rarely in the "right way."
i can cry and yell with the best of them, and beat the most. i get nervous and spit things out that are best left unsaid.
i will always laugh. even if it's inappropriate. it is my one safeguard, safety net.
when i cry. i mean really cry, the aftermath is written on my face, still, days later.
i can go up then down. and in my mania resolve and acknowledge that ive jumped to ill conclusions. but that's just the way my brain works it's not like yours, with your calm rationale.
i am woman, and this nature reminds me that it's in my veins. it keeps my pulse, though rarely steady, beating heavily down
my thoughts stream rapid. flowing and gushing down my riverbed that doesnt look to rest.
i want you, no i need you, to embrace this wild life that i set free. it's free to be had, shared and learned. but hardly understood.
so understand:
this crazy, let it live

Sunday, February 1, 2009

i cannot sleep as sound
as you
tossing a turn without the warmth just wont do
too stunned to shake in my wake
these bones ache
to be nourished
allowing the hunger
what's there left
to feed on
but the leftovers and passing ups than downs
i lie leftover; disregarded
my mouth shares a few quiet lies
to rock me to sleep