a minor dilemma

a choice
for better or worse
either or
im young enough for those to be different roads that dont collide for a few miles

but when youre accustomed to something worse its appeal is a better routine

than a better choice whose appeal is bound to shift to worse at some point

and though youre stuck at a worst worse

the betters worst seems more because of a little bit hanging on your sleeve
that the better may deserve, though youre set you dont deserve the better
the bit that the worse already built up and down making it seem better or bitter but then better

and then youre back to the appeal
an appeal that is nothing more than a lie that youre comfortable with

and there is your choice

felons and slaves

sharing eachother like lifetime lovers
but it changed me
you were never mine
always its slave
an obligated sheep
loving what you were told to love
loving what you never wanted to do yourself
i was yours
not the bottles
though, you could have sworn
but the truth remains
you will surrender your life
but the truth remains
you are a felon
waiting to swing that third strike

a true beauty
her love isnt so
and they like it that way
to feel their own
and hear whispers in the night
and the tender
ness
kiss
ess
she whispers thank you
but does not return
asks before i go
close your eyes
and mine will be open
forever
wider than before
seeing the things you said to see
but it was too early
too late

candy hearts

i will always dot my swollen eyes with hearts
;they float, and swirl, and charm, and heal, and
a childish...child-at-heart
with love to give and people to care for
with hearts doodled across bills, files, and letters
traces of love notes if you'd just look close enough
signed with them
in her head
as she shares what brightens the world
dots spark no rile, no discomfort, no scoffing, no smug faces
there's nothing wrong with it
a precious nothing that means something to her
everything for a reaction satisfaction
giving it away
to show you what unconditional means
even if it is just a drawing

i despise your voice
louder, louder, and louder
watching you tromp up the stairs
it gives me chills,
they travel slowly, painfully
up my spine

you people referring to me as my people, my sort, my kind
i am me, nothing else
i am not here to cater to your supposed inabilities
a service, mind you
not a wait on you hand-and-foot
my tolerance is short with your kind
the over, and un,
privileged, deserving, grateful
sort, kind, people.

i am not sorry
and i do not feel sorry for you
my stone face tells you what you want to see
my genuine face reads im equal
how dare i

a dearest gal, unforgettable
there's no doubt
put it best
"she is a heinous bitch"
and the rest of you get under my skin
so deep down
i am a short fuse
with the cruelest intention