Tuesday, January 29, 2008

quitting coffee

i did it! can you believe it? me. i quit coffee. and let me tell you, i would swear by it. i feel better than ever, and i am so proud of myself.

i remember being just 6 and 7-years-old making coffee for my mom and her guests. i always tested it to make sure it was just right. the smell was enchanting to me, especially since it was an "adult drink." i knew once i got older i would be a regular coffee connoissuer. coffee stepped permanently into my life once i was 16-years-old.

i used to wake up, get ready for my day, go to school or my job or where ever i had to be, and my mouth would water coffee. a triple tall americano to be exact. if i hadnt gotten it before work, i'd beg for a five or ten minute break to get it. once that coffee hit my tongue, i was a new person. i was the happy, giggly, clever alicia i think myself to be. then i realized i was only that way if i got my coffee. otherwise i was moody, impatient, and just mean. i would talk about getting coffee until i finally did. each day i'd start with my triple americano, without cream, and once i got to about 4 p.m. or 5 p.m. i would get something a little less potent...such as a double americano. finally, it started to bother me that i needed some kind of substance to make me feel normal, or happy. i concluded if i am indeed a moody, impatient, mean person then so be it. of course i wanted to be charming and kind without coffee, but i doubted i would be.

the first two weeks was hell. i would go one, two, or three days without coffee and cave. i still felt i really needed it to make me a nice person. i thought about it constantly. but i decided to tell everyone i was quitting, just so they could keep me accountable.

now, ive gone two full weeks (14 days. but who's counting?) without a drip of coffee. it might not seem long, but for me this is forever. i still think about getting it, and wonder if i'll ever treat myself, but i doubt it. especially not this soon into my detox. i have been in the best mood without it. i want to be more active, and find myself being more productive. plus, i have an extra 2o or so bucks in my account every week now. turns out i can be nice, charming, giggly, and clever without coffee. im now to the point where id rather be in a bad mood, which is normal every now and then, than have coffee.

i have concluded coffee will be the death of me. and i do not ever need it again.

2 comments:

sarah russell said...

so proud of you.

Sarah Beilke said...

good job! keep it up, it'll be worth it.