im sitting inside a beautiful house that is not my own. there are children upstairs sleeping. and i have taken this time to broadly reflect on what's been aching in my mind lately.
i feel different than before. i am happy, more content than i have been before, and moving forward. alas! i am still unsettled.
my brains desires the history, facts, and philosophies that it hasnt discussed in ages. part of me feels out of touch from the education world. fortunately, soon enough, i will not feel like that anymore. i will feel overwhelmed by the weight of my books in my bag. overwhelmed because i will be losing time. constantly exhausted, but managing it. i cannot wait to be engrossed with new thoughts from those i disagree with, those that inspire me, those that puzzle me, and those that i feel indifferent toward.
here i sit, actually spilling out the words that have been running through my mind for a while now. and my brain is awake. i havent taken time to spell out my life in quite a long time. i had done it for a while, on paper from what i last recall, and i decided i didnt want to be that vulnerable on paper, or on cyberspace anymore.
i am glad my mind is fickle. because this feels electric.